After last week’s slightly, perhaps, gloomy blog ‘Do we have a future to look forward to’ I thought I had better lighten things up a little this week. So as any regular reader of my blog will know, as well as a writer of science fiction, I have been an avid reader (and viewer) since my teens, which is now more years than I care to remember. So has science fiction taught me anything? – the answer is yes, just not necessarily anything useful. Anyway here goes:
- In an infinite universe somewhere mattresses are the dominant life form. Oh, and they’re not very bright.
- Space ships can fly on wires (for those old enough to have watched Blake’s Seven).
- All you need to class as an alien is to have pointy ears and eyebrows.
- Mash potato is not a good substrate for sculpting.
- Even in the distant future there will be rubbish bands playing in bars.
- Beer will never go out of fashion – Woo hoo!
- The words ‘Don’t Panic’ are the best possible advice in the universe.
- Being a psychopathic, homicidal maniac is not always a bad thing.
- Small robots that look like dustbins (trashcans) can still be cute.
- If someone asks if you want to see inside their small blue box it could be worth a punt.
- Beings that say ‘exterminate’ a lot are not from pest control and are best avoided. If you do come across them just run upstairs.
- Even in the future we will not be free of bad haircuts / dubious fashion sense.
- At some point computers / machines will be smarter than us humans. However:
- When a computer gets too smart for its own good pull the plug out of the socket – that’ll sort it.
- Just because something is very bright it doesn’t mean it has any common sense (actually that is more from my Gran, but it kind of applies. Also, she was on another planet at times).
- Writing science fiction it is not a guaranteed way to make a fortune.
- If aliens are trying to kill you, you can usually outrun them.
- Androids will always look slightly not human.
- We will destroy the earth and everyone on it, with the possible exception of Will Smith, oh, and a dog.
- Cats are an alien species. OK that’s not from science fiction, but they just are.
- Don’t kill a worm in your garden, it might just have larger relatives.
- The size of the book doesn’t necessarily equate to quality. Some of the larger ones are best used as doorstops and some of the smaller ones are, well, gems to be treasured.
- Science fiction has the answer to almost anything, just not in any way that we can use.
- Space ships can have attitude.
- The human imagination will carry us to the stars.
I look forward to hearing from you about some of the obvious lessons I have missed.
Ian Martyn
