Chocolate biscuits / biscuits for writers – a critique

As a writer I spend a long time at the keyboard. Biscuits, and mainly chocolate ones, keep me going. But which are the best? A personal study.

As  a writer I have found little help on this subject.  Please let me know what you think and what biscuits you’d recommend to the ‘would be’ or even experienced writer.

I’m sure we all look at our keyboards and see the hairs and fluff that build up on it.  Well, I made the mistake the other day of turning mine upside down and giving it a shake ( – I don’t know, don’t ask).   As well as fluff and hairs a lot of the crud were crumbs.  This got me thinking about what might be the best nourishment for those who spend long periods of time at the keyboard.  For me that predominantly means biscuits and most often chocolate biscuits.  (And if any manufacturers out there see this and want to reward me for mentioning their brand, please feel free to send me a box of whatever they make).

I will start with the old favourite, the Kitkat.  For any novice a Kitkat is a good place to begin.  biscuitsThey are not too skimpy on the chocolate and wafer is not too crumbly.  We stock the two finger variety.  The advantage of this is, that I know they also do the four finger ones.  So I feel perfectly justified in having one with my coffee around 10.00am and then another later with another coffee.  Yes coffee is also plays an important part in this.  I see coffee/tea and biscuits as inextricably linked.

So a Kitkat is always a good fall back.  But you do need variety.

The Twix is another old favourite.  Again choose the multipack single finger ones for the same reason as the two finger Kitkat.  Now the Twix does have the added attraction of the caramel, but this can lead to sticky finger marks on keys.  Also the biscuit base is quite crumbly, definitely adding to the key board crud.  Twix can also be responsible for the second major drawback of chocolate biscuits for writers.  That is when (unknown to you) a flake of chocolate drops off.  Only for half to be discovered later as a squashed remnant on the seat of your chair, and then a few seconds later the other half to be found on the seat of your jeans/ shorts or whatever.

I do like caramel wafers. They are quite big, so satisfying.  But that’s also a drawback making it hard to justify another one later.  And despite the bonding properties of the caramel they do flake quite easily and are a prime candidate for the chocolate on jeans syndrome.

Others of mention are:  The caramel Rocky.  They are a bit like the Twix, but in my experience more trouble – more crumbly and more prone to flaky chocolate;  The penguin – not a great fan of these, a bit stingy on the chocolate and despite many different coloured wrappers they’re all the same (a bit disappointing);  Club biscuits.  For me it’s the orange or the mint ones.  They are good for chocolate, but definitely high in the flake of chocolate stuck to seat of jeans league.

biscuits 2Of the non individually wrapped biscuits I love a chocolate digestive.  The question here is how many is acceptable at a sitting?  two or three?  Also they rate quite high on the crumble scale.

Occasionally I do venture down the non chocolate line for variety.  Ginger nuts are great and hold together well whilst dunking.  Non dunked, however they can be a major adder to keyboard crud.  The same goes for other old favourites such as custard creams.  And as for plain digestives and hobnobs, if taken regularly at the key board I suggest heavy dunking (although that can lead to half lost in mug, never good) or vacuuming the keyboard regularly.

I hope this helps those who spend a lot of time at a keyboard.  If I’ve missed any that are particularly appropriate for writers let me know.  I haven’t talked about crisps (always found in keyboards), maybe another time.

Ian Martyn

Author: Ian Martyn

Science Fiction Writer