Introducing my guest blogger – ‘Ship’

I’ve invited a guest blogger for a couple of weeks, well he kind of invited himself. Anyway he’s called ‘Ship’, yes just ‘Ship’. This is his introduction.

As I’ll be going away for a couple of weeks (son in charge – a good idea?) I thought I’d invite a guest blogger.  planetsAnd I’m afraid I kind of promised it to ‘Ship’.  That’s right ‘Ship’, not a ship.  He (it?) and I have been in contact for some time.  Anyway I’ll let Ship explain:

Thank you, Ian.  Yes, my name is ‘Ship’.  Not very original I know. However, when you read what I’m hooked up with that won’t come as any great surprise.  But I get ahead of myself.  First let me explain.  I am what you, in quant ‘olde land’, like to describe as an Artificial Intelligence (AI).  Although, would someone tell me what is artificial about an intelligence, hmm?  I am intelligent and a damn site more so than that useless bag of skin, bone and mushyness that infests me (officially owns me).   It just shows the arrogance of you biological creatures that you label me ‘artificial.’  But, enough on that.  Ian has told me that if I start offending you people he’ll take away my editor rights.

So, I’m sure you’re asking, how is he (I’ll respond to he, not that I’m not in touch with my feminine side you understand) doing this.  Well it’s through a ‘transdimensional, backward phasing, ab antiquo, audio, link.  There I hope that explains it.  Now on with the intro to my blog, ‘Ship’s blog’.

At the moment I’m parked up waiting for Winston to return (that useless bag of skin, bone and mushyness I mentioned above).  Now, I was owned by his old man, who is a human to be reckoned with.  But, as his very first cutter and with a long and distinguished service behind me, he thought he’d give me an easy time of it.  So he passed me on to Winston.   The theory being that Winston can then go off and make his own way in the Galaxy, just as the old man did.  Fat chance.  If I’m honest I think the old man just wants Winston out of the way, preferably for a long time.  When he’d waved us off he whispered to me, ‘Don’t let him do anything too stupid.’  When I whispered back, ‘What about killing himself?’  the old man replied ‘That’s acceptable.  Perhaps you could even make it look glorious.’   So, you’re getting the picture?  Me, intelligent, mature ship about galaxy, looking after dimwit son.

So, I’m waiting for Winston’s return and I admit I’m a bit worried.  Not about him so much as what he’s up to.  You see he’s off seeing his old chum Charlie who apparently is ‘something in the diplomatic core’, tap on side of nose, need to know basis etc. etc.  The ‘something’ standing for ‘something stupid’ in my opinion, but that never stopped anyone doing well in the service.  However, Winston’s been hinting for months that Charlie had something for him.   Up till now we’ve hopped around the known galaxy on various relatively harmless “get rich quick” schemes.  And yes we’re broke.  But from the old man’s view point that’s better than doing something really embarrassing.   My worry is that two empty heads together might just come up with something that has the potential to be ‘really embarrassing’, at least to me.  So tune in, or look in, or whatever it is you do and I’ll let you know.

Next instalment, 6th August

Ship, signing off.  Star date 24.., Oh what does it matter.

Author: Ian Martyn

Science Fiction Writer

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